Free Style [aka 100 (or so) Things About Me...without the numbers and all that stuff]

I only washed the front part of my hair this morning as I was too lazy for the whole wash-dry-straighten routine. I ate leftovers for breakfast. At one end of my couch, there are three pairs of dirty socks that I have kicked off each night this week while watching TV. I just ate four mint-filled Hershey's kisses in the last thirty seconds. I start training at the beginning of February for my very first half-marathon. The furthest I've run to date is 5K. I've got a lot of training to do.

Most days I love my dog so much that it hurts. Other days, I wish I had not gotten him. My mother and grandmother have not spoken in months. They act like they are in grade school and constantly put me in the middle. I'm currently writing them both a letter telling them to no longer speak to me until they can grow up and act their ages. I fear it will both liberate me and pain me in equal amounts. I do not know my birth father. I did not know this until I was twenty-one years old. The man who raised me is a drunk, and a drug addict, and an all-around deadbeat. I have lost all respect for him and worry that he will break my brothers' hearts.

I am a girly-girl who loves sparkly things and the color pink. I am also a tomboy who loves cursing like a trucker and getting dirty. I am not afraid to admit that I do not dislike the C word. I can belch louder than most men I know. This gives me great pleasure. I do not like to fart in the presence of current love interests. Even after being together for five years. I can more than hold my own when it comes to talking anything hockey-related. I think that this intimidates some men.

I am a procrastinator. I save all of my worrying for the minute my head hits the pillow at night. I have a spending problem that I am trying to reign in. It is failing miserably. I am scared that I will not be able to pull myself out of the hole this time. I try to justify it by telling myself that it's only money. I become obsessed with learning how to do or make new things (knitting, balloon animals, scrapbooking) but the flame dies out before I actually finish anything. I sometimes wonder if I will ever accomplish anything of greatness in my lifetime. I often go through long bouts of utter, unmotivated laziness.

I love with reckless abandon. Once you've captured my heart, it will take a lot for you to fall out of my good graces. This has caused me to deal with a lot of bullshit in my life. I fall for men that I know are no good, but this does not stop me. I have absolutely no regrets about any of my past relationships. They have all taught me things about myself that I would not have learned any other way. I can honestly say that I have never connected with anyone the way that I have connected with MG#2. This equally excites me and scares the shit out of me. I want more than anything for him to be the one I spend the rest of my days with. That is the first time I've admitted that out loud. I am constantly waiting for the other show to drop in new relationships. I don't think that this makes me jaded.

I was an honor student up until my last year of high school. The pressure of being the perfect student became too much for me to handle, so I chose to skip class and not study. I still graduated with honors. I took a year off after graduating to figure out what I wanted to do. I went into the pre-med program upon my return. This lasted for three years, until my parents separation got in the way. I had to (pretty much) raise my brothers and work full-time. I would have become a full-fledged doctor last year.

During my online dating stint, nearly every guy who wrote to me told me that I had a fantastic smile. I tend to agree with them. My second favorite feature is (are?) my eyes, followed by my stomach. My least favorite body part is my nose, followed ever so closely by my ass. I have two tattoos and five piercings. Four of them are in my ears. I took my nose piercing out when it refused to heal. I do not have the determination or willpower to diet. Gummy candies and chips & dip are my weaknesses. I need to take more vitamins.

I lost my virginity on Super Bowl Sunday. I was fifteen years old. Barely. Two weeks later, he slept with one of my good friends. I have not spoken to either one of them since. I've been on The Pill for nearly fourteen years. It worries me that it may affect my ability to conceive when that time comes. I can remember every detail of the first time I masturbated. I still wonder about my first love. I've only ever had one "true" one night stand. There were a few that were meant to be, but it ended up happening again. And in some cases, again and again.

I am a hopeless romantic, as well as an eternal optimist. However, I can manage to get myself into some pretty good funks from time to time. I always pull through. I am afraid of water. I hate getting my face and hair wet. My face because of a near-drowning incident when I was younger, my hair because it gets curly and I hate it. I rarely wash off the day's makeup before bedtime. I hate flossing. Laundry is my favorite household chore. Until it comes time to actually put everything away. Handwashing dishes is my least favorite of the household chores. When does a person actually qualify as being a "grown up"? I'm not sure if I will ever reach that status.

I heart yoga and running. I lack the stability to stick to a regular schedule with either. I have recently lost fifteen pounds. Exercising as regularly as I can is the reason that I've lost it. The giddiness and butterflies of something new may have helped. I'm hungry.

I need to write more often, and be more honest when I do. I think this post helped with that.