When does the pain stop washing over you in waves when you least expect it? When does the appetite come back with a vengeance? When will I get a good night's sleep? When will he stop being the first thing I think of when I wake and greet the day? When will I stop looking for his truck every time I glance out the window? When will my heart stop dropping when my phone rings and it's not him? When will I be able to stay at home alone for a night without crying? When will I be able to look back on our time together and be happy about it? When will I be able to stay in on a Sunday, watching movies, without wanting him there with me? When will this horrible pit of sadness dissolve and leave me be?
I did so good for a few days, but I find that I am letting the pain consume me like I did at the beginning, and I just can't stop it. Each day that goes by that I do not hear from him rips off another tiny piece of my heart, spits it out unchewed. I almost texted him Saturday night after too many drinks at a friend's wedding..I typed it out... "I miss you" and almost hit send, before I snapped my phone shut and hid it under my pillow. It's absolutely killing me, and not even spending a great long weekend with friends and family was enough to lift my spirits for very long.
Everything I do, everything I say, everywhere I go...it all reminds me of him and I can't take another second of it. I just want the hurt to go away.
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3 comments:
sweet girl,
ya'll have been broken up for like 20 minutes. it's more than ok to feel icky for as long as you feel it ... but, let your girlfriends take care of you - it's what we do.
if you lived in atlanta, i'd so feel you too much ice cream, and we'd go stalk him together! ;)
Allie- Ahhh...I know. It just sucks donkey balls.
My girls are doing a great job of it...without them, I'd be a pile of mush.
We'll just have to pretend that I'm there...can we have Chunky Monkey?
Put down the wine and the Chunky Monkey and go pick up a hottie. Quickest heart healer is a brand new model. It's his loss, now get out there and make it your gain.
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