Crossroads

I'm at a real crossroads today. Not sure why. I'm walking around in a black funk, wondering if it's all worth it.

I hate days like this, when I wake up and am so miserable. Normally, I'm a happy-go-lucky optimist, so when these days arrive, they bring me down like no other. My girlfriends and I are going out tonight, to sip merlot and have one of those gritty heart to hearts, to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with us. I take solace in knowing that I am not the only one who is feeling this way as of late, but it does not explain what the cause of it is.

I am just tired of everything. It all seems like such a struggle right now - friendships, work, relationships, family. Literally everything.

I just came back from a 4 day long business trip...I was with a few of my favorite co-workers, we had good meetings, good dinners, good wine, good shopping, good weather. Yet, still I woke up this morning, after a surprisingly refreshing trip, and felt myself sliding down that dark pit.

I'm not sure what's causing it...I guess things just feel so stale right now. Work has been the same project for the past few months, the relationship has had more bumps than usual lately, and everything just seems blah, bland, boring, VERY vanilla.

Maybe I need to go away and treat myself to a REAL vacation. A different time zone, different climate, slushy drink, cabana boy type of vacation. Maybe I need to find myself a new hobby, something that piques my interest and keeps me involved. Maybe I need to just slap myself around a bit and realize that I am truly blessed in life and should just get over this bullshit.

I don't know.