Put this in your pipe and smoke it

Dear Know-It-All-CoWorker,

I wonder how it is that you think you know oh-so-much about my life? As far as I can recall, I haven't told you much about my personal life at all in the recent past. In fact, I'm not sure that you know too much about me at all in the past year or so. Only what you've heard from others, and we all know how much untruth lies in the gossip that mills around this place.

So, I tell you this right now....keep your pointy little nose out of it. Don't go telling stories to people that don't even know me. It will eventually come back and bite you in the ass. Trust me on this one. I won't let this one go unnoticed, you can count on that. I have an unusually large threshold for this type of behavior, and unfortunately for you, you've just pulled the pin.

Keep it up. Karma's a bitch.

Until next time...go and fuck yourself. : )