Huh?

I'm confused. I am sitting here and don't even know what to write, if it's worth it to spew forth my feelings once again when I don't really know what they are.

I had a great weekend with the boy. We actually saw each other 4 days in a row - the concert, a sleepover, some breakfast, out to a movie, dinner & a movie at his place. This was quite the change for me after only seeing him once a week for the whole month previous. Yet, I still don't feel really good about the whole situation.

I know, I know....you're sitting there thinking "What is wrong with this chick?"

But hear me out. He calls every day, asks how my day was...when we see each other there is very obvious attraction between us. We laugh all the time, have those stupid conversations that people have at the beginning of a relationship, trying to find out things about each other (If you could be a firefight, paramedic, or a cop, what would you be? Would you ever get married in a church? - he asked that one). There's just one thing I cannot get past. He is not affectionate. No kiss hello, no hand on leg in the darkened movie theatre, no hand holding in public.

I, on the other hand, am a very affectionate person. Not to the point of disgustingly mushy PDA's, but I like a little kiss and whatnot on the sly when we're out with friends. That's what happens when you're into someone, no?

I guess what I really have to do first is ask him what the deal is. Are you into me, and why don't you show it if you are? What if he says yes, I am, but I am just not one for that kind of behavior? Then I guess I just have to ask myself, am I willing to stick around if he cannot give me those loving little gestures that I crave? Is that a shallow attitude?

Maybe if he tells me that he's into me and he wants this to work, then that will be enough to set my mind at ease and accept the fact that he does like me, even if he doesn't hug and kiss me to death. I guess I won't know until I ask though.

Sigh....I hate having to ask these types of questions.