I can't stop

More letters, cuz they're fun, and I love them, and they don't make me think too much.

Dear Cold,
When I woke up this morning with a sore throat, all stuffed up, I thought "Wheee! I can stay home!" but then remembered I have too much to do at work(can't you tell?). So now I don't like you anymore...until maybe tomorrow when I can maybe stay home if I still feel ultra-shitty.

Dear Work,
You can still bite it. Harder.

Dear Movie Channels,
I love you most on Sunday nights when there is nothing else on TV and you play good movies. It makes me all warm inside.

Dear Glutes,
I like how you feel kinda sore and tight after our 2 hour hike yesterday. It makes me feel as if we're really working together towards a full on love-in with aforementioned bikini!

Dear Roommate,
Sorry for taking your phone this morning! It was on the table and I was still half asleep...and it's not my fault that we have the EXACT same phone. I'll put a fun sticker on mine or something, as I apparently, at 6:30 in the freaking morning, cannot see the little dent on mine that we normally use to tell them apart.

Dear Dog,
How can you not be tired after a 2.5 hour walk yesterday? You should be dead to the world, but you are full of energy all evening, and then you whine at 4:30 in the morning cuz you're out of water. Kudos to you, though, for not drinking out of the open toilet like most dogs would.

Dear BBQ,
I think that together we made the best steak ever last night. God, was it good. Too bad you are an inanimate object and couldn't savor your wares.

Dear Kleenex with Lotion,
You are a life saver who is saving my nose from being much more raw then it could be. Without you, I would walk around looking like Rudolph. And this cold is already making me look pretty haggard.