Whatever I want...and then some

So, it's now Wednesday, and still no word on my new position here at work. I have been anxiously awaiting any tidbit of info that will put my mind at ease...but as of yet - nada. Today is supposed to be the day that this breaking news is announced. But I've heard things like that before around this joint. So...keep your fingers crossed for me! I need all the help I can get at this point...

I read a quote from Good Apple yesterday that really hit home with me.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.
~Anais Nin.

I thought about this all through last night. And I decided, that finally, this is MY time to bloom. I have always been one of those people that sit on the sidelines, the cautious one, the one who always makes sure that everyone else is safe and secure. And for the first time in my life, I resent myself for being that way.

In the almost month since I've been single, I have really started to come into my own. I have been fun again...really, really fun. There were those 3 weeks during Stampede and my houseboat trip (and the break-up) that I partied like there was no tomorrow. Even with the hangovers (although, I admit they seemed less harsh each morning), I was still in high spirits, ready to go again at the drop of a hat. I think this was part of my last ditch effort to prove to my ex that yes, I am a fun girl. Just not when he was around. And in being this "party girl", I discovered that there was no reason for me to not be that way. One of my good friends always used to ask if "Party Me" could come out to play. I now realize how sad it was that that question had to be asked. So I made my decision, and have been nothing but happy ever since. : )

It's refreshing to say the least...I don't have anyone to report to anymore. I can do what I like, when I like, with whomever I damn well please. And I love it! You should see me at the bar these days...I've always been the wallflower, the quiet one that sits back while all of my single friends talk to cute boys that wander past us. Not anymore!! Now, I am the one who grabs the cute boys and strikes up a conversation (well, almost always the first). It's such an empowering feeling...chatting it up, dancing, being the one who has the upper hand (no, boys, as much as you think you have it, you don't).

I can come home whenever I want, or not come home at all (although not quite at that step yet). I can not do my hair for the whole weekend. I can eat junk food for dinner and not do my dishes until the next morning. I can not shave my legs for weeks at a time (halfway through week 2 right now). I can go for a drink after work and not have to call home if I decide to have more than one. I can go to a wedding, or any other fancy dress-up function, and not have to have a 30 minute argument trying to get "someone" into a button-up shirt, or (gasp!) a tie. There are many, many more things that I realize I can now do. I won't bore you with the entire list. The point of it all is...

I'm single, and I'm loving it. Bah-da-ba-ba-ba-!