Could you be the one & only?

I'm at home sick today....puking my guts out. For once I can honestly say I'd rather be at work. This sucks.

And now it's about 5 hours after I started this as I had no energy left.....I almost forgot what my point was going to be.

But I remember it now....

Is it really possible to be with one person for the REST of your life?
Do you not ever get tempted to try something new?
How can you know that the person that you choose to be with is THE ONE if you haven't been with everyone (now, I don't mean EVERYONE, but you get the gist)??
What if you meet someone that is better suited to you after you've already invested so much of yourself and your life into a relationship with someone else?
Would you be willing to leave that comfort and life that you've built to risk it all on someone new?

I have cheated on boyfriends in the past...more than once....and yes, I regret it. But I know that I have also been cheated on. It hurts, and it's not fair, but the facts of life are that it will happen, inevitably, to someone at least once in their lifetime.

I always used to think that once you met someone who you were willing to spend the rest of your life with, that that would be it. Finito. End of story. You and them forever more.

But now I wonder...my ex once told me that monogamy in the human race is impossible, that humans are not cut out to be that way. (Maybe he was trying to tell me something?) I argued with him at the time, but now that I am on my own, I wonder if it truly is possible.

The old saying goes.....once a cheater, always a cheater...I wonder how much that holds true. Now, I've only had 4 serious boyfriends that cheating would qualify with. And I have cheated on 2 of them. The third, right from an episode of "Friends", occurred while we were "on a break", so I'm not sure if it qualifies as cheating. Only one of them has remain unscathed, and he was my first true love.

Now, maybe this all happened because I was young and stupid. I am still quite young, and still quite stupid when it comes to matters such as these. Like getting involved with someone that I know is involved with someone else. It's a bit different, as I was involved emotionally long before I was told about the partner. Hard to extract yourself from that kind of situation once it's happened. But I know now, and I have not yet stepped away.

A conversation with a good friend opened my eyes today....I had known all along what I had to do, but having her tell me really hit it home.

"Would you want your boyfriend talking to another girl like that?"

And my answer was no.....no, I would not. (And yes, that's all it's been so far is talk).

I don't want to be THAT girl.

So tomorrow, I tell him. Friends only from here on in. It's gonna hurt. But it's gotta be done.

Oh, the rocky road to happiness. When do I hit the smooth part??